Thursday, January 27, 2005
Life radar circle
Another deep thought from bed last night!
Since there seems to be more turmoil in the world than usual, and heated debates about almost everything, I have actually been paying even less attention to the news than I normally do, and I have never been anything approaching a news junkie. I am also somewhat selfish and self-absorbed, so most of the time I could care less what is happening outside of my life. I concluded that I have several circles of "personal radar". As the circles move outward from me in the middle, the people in each circle get less and less of my time, energy and attention. Since my brain wouldn't shut off once it got started, I partially categorized each circle. The things I do to fall asleep!
Inner circle - Toni and the kids. My primary concern is my relationship with my husband, followed very closely by the health and well-being of our children.
Next circle out - Immediate family and close friends. The people we love and care about. I worry if someone is having a hard time. I give advice if it is asked for and I actually have something helpful to say. Most of the time I have sounding board status.
Third circle - extended family, friends we don't see as much, people I know from school, Toni's work, etc. These people are screen blips until I see them in person. If something terrible were to happen to any one of them, I would feel sad and very sorry that it happened, but it would not personally devestate me. If that sounds cold, maybe it is. I know the limits of my compassion I guess.
Fourth circle - my bulletin board and blog friends, people from the Angel Quilt Project. Even though I interact with most of you on a daily basis you still have to be in the fourth circle, unless I happen to know you personally. Following the crisis scenario above, I would be concerned when something goes wrong ( ie. when Stacey's son disappeared ) and will definitely send good thoughts your way.
Fifth circle - perfect strangers. No blips for you. Unless I do catch the news and notice something. Some of my fellow British Columbians have been forced to evacuate their homes due to ice jams in rivers causing flooding. My response to the story, "Oh dear, I hope those poor people don't loose their houses." Maybe a 5 second blip actually. For the most part this circle also falls under the category of minding my own business. I do not care how they live, where they work, how they vote, who they sleep with or marry, etc. My brain would over load if I tried to care about that stuff.
So if something I say to you or post about comes off as callous or cold, or shallow, or self-centered, you have been warned.
Since there seems to be more turmoil in the world than usual, and heated debates about almost everything, I have actually been paying even less attention to the news than I normally do, and I have never been anything approaching a news junkie. I am also somewhat selfish and self-absorbed, so most of the time I could care less what is happening outside of my life. I concluded that I have several circles of "personal radar". As the circles move outward from me in the middle, the people in each circle get less and less of my time, energy and attention. Since my brain wouldn't shut off once it got started, I partially categorized each circle. The things I do to fall asleep!
Inner circle - Toni and the kids. My primary concern is my relationship with my husband, followed very closely by the health and well-being of our children.
Next circle out - Immediate family and close friends. The people we love and care about. I worry if someone is having a hard time. I give advice if it is asked for and I actually have something helpful to say. Most of the time I have sounding board status.
Third circle - extended family, friends we don't see as much, people I know from school, Toni's work, etc. These people are screen blips until I see them in person. If something terrible were to happen to any one of them, I would feel sad and very sorry that it happened, but it would not personally devestate me. If that sounds cold, maybe it is. I know the limits of my compassion I guess.
Fourth circle - my bulletin board and blog friends, people from the Angel Quilt Project. Even though I interact with most of you on a daily basis you still have to be in the fourth circle, unless I happen to know you personally. Following the crisis scenario above, I would be concerned when something goes wrong ( ie. when Stacey's son disappeared ) and will definitely send good thoughts your way.
Fifth circle - perfect strangers. No blips for you. Unless I do catch the news and notice something. Some of my fellow British Columbians have been forced to evacuate their homes due to ice jams in rivers causing flooding. My response to the story, "Oh dear, I hope those poor people don't loose their houses." Maybe a 5 second blip actually. For the most part this circle also falls under the category of minding my own business. I do not care how they live, where they work, how they vote, who they sleep with or marry, etc. My brain would over load if I tried to care about that stuff.
So if something I say to you or post about comes off as callous or cold, or shallow, or self-centered, you have been warned.
// posted by Kelley @ 9:06 a.m. 
